Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


  Beware the Beast   

It is impossible to learn diseases of every species, so treating trendy critters can be challenging.  The internet simplified exotic animal medicine as a quick google search yields common diseases for most species.  Unfortunately, Al Gore hadn’t yet invented the internet when Frank called about his emus. He had shut the two birds in a small barn stall due to the 25 below winter weather and during the night, emu number one did a Mike Tyson on emu number two.  “This will be a simple trauma case,” I thought as I drove to their barn.   

I peeked into the corner of the stall and spotted a pile of feathers and straw.  Thinking this would be easier than I expected, I crept towards the shivering mass to assess the wounds.  I gently touched the bird and triggered a flight-or-fight reaction which is problematic as emus are flightless. Fighting was its only option.  Because insulated coveralls padded my body and the bird was near death, I dove in for a second, third and fourth round of kicks before restraining the critter in a blue tarp and cleaning the wounds.  I eventually smeared the open abrasions with an antibiotic ointment and backed out of the stall.  As I drove back to the clinic I thought how I had underestimated my adversary, a mistake I vowed to never repeat.  This brings me to my point. 

Regardless progressive smiley faces and good intentions, the federal government is evil, massive and growing out of control.  The ruling class feed it to enslave the non-producing class in dependency and the producing class in debt.  I fear the Trump administration has been sucked into the bipartisan vortex with the recent stop-gap, 1.1 trillion-dollar budget and here is why.

 Progressives never, ever compromise, so any budget garnering their support grows government at the expense of freedom.  Chumps in the hinterlands will be expected to work extra hours so the ruling class can spread their bounty to those too lazy to work…less a small handling fee for administrative expenses.  When Vice President Pence trumpeted this spending bill as being bipartisan, I almost had a stroke.  In case the Trump administration missed the point, let me state it again.  You were not elected to go to Washington and get along.  We expected you to subdue the entire progressive agenda, so do not repeat my mistake of underestimating the power of the beast you are trying to wrap in a blue tarp.  They can be more devious than a crippled emu.                                                   



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