Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

Cranky Old Men

About a decade back, I was expanding the square footage of my house to match the square footage of my descendants. The number of my grand progeny had passed through thirteen and was building steam. November was mild, we were still pouring concrete and I parked my tractor and skid steer in the front pasture where I had unloaded some Styrofoam insulated panels. This became a mistake after a sudden arctic blast plunged the temperatures below zero because my old Ford tractor just will not start without a boost from a block heater. I strung four extension cords end-to-end but the volts dribbling out the tractor end of the plug looked like an old man writing his name in the snow. It was too pitiful to warm anything. After great effort with a propane weed burner, canvass tarps, and a small grease fire, we generated enough heat to start the tractor. That little misstep cost me hours I did not have, and I vowed to never let it happen again. I was wrong.

A couple weeks back, we finished the last of the siding on our Wyoming, ranch house remodel and my son, Tyler, parked the tractor four extension cords beyond the nearest electrical outlet. Remembering my previous mishap, I suggested he move the tractor closer to the garage and he said he would. He didn’t. The temperatures dropped to zero and the tractor shivered alone in the pasture. Fortunately, it was two weeks before we needed the loader, and by then, the midday sun warmed the foothills into the high forties. It wasn’t pretty and looked like a sleepy kid crawling out of a warm bed onto a cold floor, but the tractor started, and we were back in business.

I bitched and moaned under my breath when I heard family members complain about me being such a mother hen. However, the days are short, winter is blowing in and I do not have the luxury of wasting time correcting what should have been done properly in the first place. If it seems the cranky old men in your life are doing things which do not make sense, it is because they are six steps ahead of you and this brings me to my point.

When electing public servants, it is best to chose those who have owned a business, been bucked off, walk bent, own a Bible and constitution filled with ink smudges and ear marks, and champion truth above your self-esteem. They have been there before, and they will give it to you right between the eyes. If you are offended by mean tweets from cranky old men, you are too much a sissy to be voting. Leave the hard decisions to the hard people.