United Airlines stepped in it when they dragged a
reluctant and bleeding volunteer off their plane
under the watchful eye of passengers bearing
had an electronic heyday and I too jumped on the
bandwagon, but rather than the internet, I scribbled
United memes on the flipside of my old campaign
Here is the story.
This weekend, while celebrating my 60th
birthday, my entire family plus friends, gathered in
my back pasture for the inaugural Kerns Killer 5K
The 3.1-mile course travels through the sagebrush
flats, climbs and descends the butte three times
before returning to my hangar.
Directly under the redwood sign displaying
the course map, I stuck a recycled campaign sign
announcing, “Age group winners receive:
1) Complimentary re-run, or 2) Overbooked
United Airline flight anywhere in the USA.”
Of the 60 or so competitors, none voluntarily
collected either prize.
I scattered inspirational and not-so-inspirational
repurposed campaign signs around the course, such as
on the first major climb where I welcomed everyone
to the “United Airlines training camp.”
On the second climb, I cheered runners to
“Run like a Border Collie, or sit in the pickup and
chew on the seatbelts.”
Halfway up the final climb my sign read “Suck
It Up Buttercup…United Airlines complaint department
I apologize if I hurt the self-esteem of any United
Airlines employee; my words are meant in jest.
Suck it up buttercup and this brings me to my
United Airlines missed a golden opportunity to
celebrate free-market capitalism rather than
forcibly removing four passengers from their flight
to Kentucky. The
company’s action was within the parameters of every
ticket’s fine print, but had they put four seats up
for auction, four people would have likely jumped
ship at $1000 travel vouchers.
The law of supply and demand will set a price
satisfying all parties, but as it sits now, only the
attorneys are smiling.
On Saturday, May 6th, I will be speaking
at the Union County GOP political rally in La
Air travel to the hinterlands was spotty
before United Airlines began tossing passengers.
It would take all day to fly there and all
day to drive, but unless the trophy wife bloodies my
nose and bumps me out of the car, driving is more
There is an old pilot’s adage “time to spare, go by
air, but if you have to be there, drive.”
United just made it timely.