Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

Riding for the Brand

Like nearly everyone in a Class B size high school, I was in the marching band. In addition to performing at home football games, our premier performance was marching in the Sheridan Wyo Rodeo Parade in mid-July. The parade was always problematic because my family spent much of our summers chasing cows on the mountain and every time a band practice was scheduled, we were miles from the nearest vehicle. I did not pay close attention to the band practice calendar because I figured being several hours from civilization automatically excused me. My mother figured things differently. She was harsh and because this was the early ‘70s she had not yet learned how forcing me to go to band practice was harming my self-esteem. I barely survived.

Brother Dana and I had just finished breakfast in the Little Horn Cow Camp when the word came down from upper management, we were expected to catch fresh horses, ride 12 miles out of the Little Horn Canyon and dog trot another 6 miles up the county road to my uncle’s place on Stockade Creek. From there we could call for a ride to band practice. It was a long, hot, and dry ride when we trotted into my uncle’s place about two o’clock that afternoon. We were sweaty and dusty, but we made practice.

Our Tongue River High School marching band uniforms were jeans, straw hat, and a reasonably white shirt, the same attire we were sporting when we smoked down the canyon. In those days, high school marching bands frequented every close by parade, so there were drums pounding and trumpets blaring all along the parade route. Having never watched a parade because I was always in it, I suspect street observers found the parade a thrilling red, white, and blue carnival. Times have changed.

Looking at clips of recent parades across the Democrat controlled regions of the country, it appears high school marching bands have been replaced by fleets of 40-year-old, face painted, nearly naked, fat guys riding bicycles. Somehow the ruling class deems this display family appropriate while dissing those who disagree as being intolerant haters. None of those thong wearing cyclists were forced by their mothers to ride a horseback18 miles out of the mountains to attend practice and it shows. I guess riding for the band is a thing of the past. If you attend a Fourth of July parade and there are more high school bands than naked guys on bicycles, you probably live in a Republican state.