Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

Useful Life

My current home was built in 2002, which means every switch, doorknob, outlet, appliance and pump is 21 years old. Because fixtures age similarly my summer has suffered five mechanical failures. First to go was the lawn sprinkler pump. I noticed it was overheating last fall, so I made a mental note to replace it at the start of the sprinkling season. I lost the note.

Next, my happiness to not need air conditioning until July disappeared after three days when the condenser failed. Third to go was the whole house reverse osmosis water system. I had replaced pressure switches, filters and leaking lines over the years, but this failure was more involved. I bypassed a low-pressure valve to manually operate the boost pump and produce drinkable water. We had water but it was mildly inconvenient thanks to the daily demands of the 15 feral grandchildren summering with me.

The fourth failure was the oven heating element. It burned like a sparkler and melted six inches of the element before I could shut off the power. This created a catastrophic cookie shortage until we secured a replacement element and restored kitchen services. The last to go was my laptop computer. Rather than 20 years, it was barely three, but was running so slow it became useless. Hence, the absence of my column last week.

Thanks to the web it is possible to have most any replacement part delivered to your doorstep within a couple of days. Unfortunately, this convenience is about to change because replacement parts will quickly disappear due to government market manipulations. Each week the Biden administration declares another appliance as unacceptably damaging the climate, so it is deemed illegal. First it was gas cook tops, window air conditioners, portable generators and now electric water heaters. The propagandists of the deep state sell each appliance prohibition as saving both and the planet and the consumer’s wallet. These fibs slip past the Greta Thunberg types, the simple minded, establishment republicans and all democrats but normal people are disgusted, and this brings me to my point.

Answer me this: Why do we expect aged politicians to have a useful life beyond 20 years when we accept less from a Frigidaire? President Biden’s recent speech at the Truman Civil Rights Symposium shows he can no longer hold it together. He has served past his usefulness and in 2024 voters should figuratively dump him in the appliance landfill alongside the entire progressive ideology.