The Christmas Hatchet

 Krayton Kerns
9.23.06

Christmas morning, when I was about nine, I opened the most magical gift; a hatchet.  It had a curved hickory handle and a blue steel head.  Sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, I gripped the handle to check the balance of this magnificent instrument.  The power of the hatchet was stronger than my self control, and all the world became a log.  My parents grew tired of my lumberjack ambitions and confiscated the hatchet before nightfall.

 
Once spring arrived, Dad decided my chopping abilities could be put to good use in the weed-control division of the Double Rafter Ranch.  My job was to whack burdock, and for each plant I destroyed I would get a penny.  (I was in charge of accounting.) 

I learned a lot that summer.  OSHA hadn't been invented yet so it was up to me to determine if my PF Flyers could protect my toes from the slice of my Christmas hatchet.  They couldn't.  With the ranch standing the cost of Band-Aids, I pocketed about a dollar a day.  I presented my bill to Dad, and explained I needed another hatchet because my younger brother was going into business with me.  He confiscated my hatchet...again.

Why am I telling you this?  Because scheduled to be on this November's ballot were three Christmas hatchets:  CI-97 to Stop Over Spending, CI-98 Citizens Right to Recall Judges, and I-154 to limit the taking of property through eminent domain.  Long before us redneck Montanans had a chance to vote yeah or nay, Judge Dirk Sandefur removed them from the ballot.  As these three initiatives shift power from a growing central government to the individual citizen, the liberal left knew they were just too risky to place before the voter.  I disagree.  I want my hatchets back.