Do You Know Bob?

 Krayton Kerns
10.24.07
 

 Do you know Bob?  Every night his red ’05 Mustang is parked in front of the bars on Main Street.  Bob lives at home, doesn’t have a job and never will. His parents work three jobs and earn about $80,000 a year so they can give Bob and his sister an allowance.  Bob is one of the 24 year-olds slamming shots and playing video poker compliments of mom and pop. 

 Bob’s future isn’t very bright but his sex life is and he scored “sleep-over” points with six different young ladies over the past year.  There are rumors that two of them got pregnant so Bob dumped them and found two new ones, after all girls are easy and who wants one with a protruding belly.  Yep, Bob is at the top of his game and he’s got it made!  (Okay now, hush, hush, we’ll let Bob sleep in this morning; he was out awfully late.  Let’s peek at something else for a moment.)

 For the past two weeks Senator Baucus has been bombarding Montana’s air waves with radio ads chastising President Bush for vetoing the six-time increase in the State Children Health Insurance Program (SCHIP).   “For the price of one day in Iraq, we could provide health insurance for 14,000 Montana children,” exclaimed our Senator.   

Heartless bastards who oppose creeping socialism like the SCHIP expansion are incessantly portrayed as…heartless bastards.  “It’s for the children” is what the socialists  say but, what they mean is, “you must work harder and pay more taxes because we feel charitable by confiscating your earnings and giving it to someone we deem less fortunate.”  They can solve any problem…with your money.  Today’s problem is SCHIP.  

Here is a bullet-point look at SCHIP and its expansion:

*SCHIP began in ‘97 as a $24 billion, 10 year program for 5 million uninsured children.

         *Federally funded but state controlled, it was intended for folks between Medicaid and 200% of the federal poverty level.

        *By 2006 New York (Sen. Clinton’s adopted state) raised benefit levels to 400% of the poverty level, and spending shot to $40 billion.  If this 400 % level were implemented nationwide, the spending balloons to $159.9 billion.

         *Demonstrating an “if-you-build-it-they-will-come” philosophy, the SCHIP expansion plan had no dollar limit; find the folks and sign ‘em up. Cost was no object.

         *To help things along, “performance bonus payments” will be given to states that eliminate verification of income eligibility.  (Who needs accountability?)

         *The Montana CHIP website proudly proclaims there is “no proof of income required at the time of application”.

         *With more open slots than children applying, Montana CHIP recruits applicants.

         *At 400% of poverty, a family of four earning $82,600 would qualify.

         *Bob qualifies.  (Yes, that is right; Bob from paragraph one qualifies for the expanded, Senator Baucus version of SCHIP.)

 Speaking of Bob, it’s 3:00 pm and time to wake him so he can shower and grab a burger before he heads downtown for happy hour.   Your break is over so you best drop the Outlook and get back to work so you can pay taxes for Bob’s health insurance. And remember you’re “doing it for the children!”  

Author’s Note:  Bob is a purely fictional character.  However, if you have a friend like Bob, tell him to get a job and pay for his own health insurance.