My Life as a Prostitute

 Krayton Kerns
5/22/08

I have a philosophical dilemma.  If the government pays me to behave in a certain manner, is it considered prostitution if I cash the check but don’t perform the act?  Does the crime occur upon receipt of the money or upon commission of the service? (For the moment let’s ignore the fact that the government is paying me with my own money.  That detail only complicates the dilemma.)  Here is my question: 

Politicians, the world’s second oldest profession, practice prostitution, the world’s oldest profession, by spending treasury dollars to persuade voters to behave in a certain manner…namely re-elect the politician.  Thus we receive gimmicks like the $400 Montana property tax rebate and $600 federal economic stimulus check.  Beneficiaries of these redistributions of wealth speak lovingly of the generosity of their elected official, and religiously send them back to the capital for more.  Such has been this nation’s standard-operating-procedure from the beginning but, it is reaching critical mass. 

In 1787 Alexander Tyler, a University of Edinburgh history professor stated, “A democracy is always temporary in nature; it will continue until the voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury by electing candidates who promise the most benefits.  Every democracy will eventually collapse due to loose fiscal policy.”  Throughout history the average age of the world’s democracies has been 200 years.  The United States is 231 years old; our great republic is suffering the same fate.

 You taxpayers did an amazing thing in April 2008:  With an economy spurred on by the Bush tax cuts, you sent a record amount of income tax revenue to the federal treasury.  In one month you contributed $357.6 billion dollars to your Uncle Sam. This brings our fiscal year-to-date revenues to $1.549 trillion dollars. However, Washington has spent $1.701 trillion dollars over that same time so you need to send more.  Could Professor Tyler be correct?  

We are not suffering a revenue problem; we are suffering a spending problem and it must stop.  Look at the Clinton and Obama presidential campaigns; both want to give us free healthcare.  There is no free.  You, your children, and your grandchildren will pay the bill for their generosity and worse yet; you will become even more dependent on big government.  Elected officials will own you. 

And that brings me to my point:  Some may call me a prostitute for voting against the $400 Montana property tax rebate and then accepting the check.  That might be too kind. I am going use those funds and my $600 federal economic stimulus check to fight the ideology that is spending our state and country into slavery.  I just want to be free.