My First Campaign Mistake

 Krayton Kerns
7.12.06

While preparing for the Fourth of July parade, I made a big campaign mistake.  I told Mary McGee she throws like a girl.  For those of you who missed the parade, Senator McGee and I rallied a group of young volunteers to encourage street-side observers to “shoot a politician” with super-soakers as we walked along passing out candy.  In keeping with our theme, “Give Us Your Best Shot, And We’ll Give You Ours”, Dan and I would periodically gather behind the wagon and let our mass of volunteers drench us with a barrage of water balloons.

 Moments before the parade we explained the plan to our entourage, and I asked Mary McGee to demonstrate the water barrage by tossing a water balloon at us.  She tossed one.  That is when I gave a wink and made the “throwing-like-a-girl” remark.  As we journeyed down the parade route, I sure wish I could have had that comment back.

 Senator McGee’s twins, Mary and Jessie, both played fast-pitch softball in college.  Both are entirely capable of hurling 90 mph fastballs.  Do you have any idea what it feels like to be hit by a 90 mph water balloon?  I do. 

 I am happy to say the three welts I carried on my back have shrunk down to a nice black-and-blue smudge and I think they will be gone by Christmas.  Boy, campaigning is tougher than it looks.