My New Club

 Krayton Kerns
8.30.06

Druann and I joined an exclusive club last week.  It has very challenging membership rules that took us over 25 years to satisfy.  I have never calculated the complete cost of the enrollment fee, but I know it has to be in the neighborhood of several hundred thousand dollars.  The odd thing is that after spending all this money and effort to join this organization I am not sure I like it.  You see, we are now empty-nesters. 

Friday morning Tyler, my youngest, threw three duffle bags, a refrigerator, a microwave and his bicycle into the back of his ’67 Ford pickup.  I did what every father would do.  I added a quart of oil to the engine, aired up two tires, shook his hand and told him to study hard.  Down the road he rattled. 

I stood for a moment and looked at my garage and hangar.  For the first time in 18 years I am not going to have to work around a mass of disassembled engines, bicycles, pickups, motorcycles, and scrap metal that was one day going to become a go-cart.  I won’t run out of welding rods, oxygen, acetylene, grinding discs, and there will actually be gas in the gas cans. Yep, things are looking up.

 An hour or two went by and dang, it was quiet.  I looked over and noticed Tyler’s dog Cash, snoozing in the corner of the garage.  There was something very annoying about the way she was snoring and she was doing it on purpose.  Time passed.

 I couldn’t take it anymore, so I whistled for her to jump in the pickup and I hollered to Druann, “I’m headed out campaigning.”

 Good bye empty-nester club; hello politics.