Taxes and The Old Gray Mare

 Krayton Kerns
3.21.07

Several years ago on a cold January morning Harold, a farmer from a nearby town, stopped by my clinic.  “Doc, it’s my old mare,” he blurted.  “I walked down to the barn and she was lying by the water tank; dead as a wedge.  What do you think killed her,” he inquired. 

Smart veterinarians avoid pointless conversations with Harold but, they were all in surgery so I played along.  “It could be your tank heater shorted out and electrocuted her,” I offered. 

“Nope,” he shot back, “I checked it and it was fine.” 

“Maybe she twisted a gut during the night,” I persisted. 

“Nope,” he corrected again, “no signs of her rolling anywhere.  She just fell over dead.”  

“Harold,” I asked in desperation, “would you like me to drive out and do a necropsy?”   

“Nope, I sure don’t want to spend any money on a dead horse.  I just thought with your education and all, you might have some idea,” Harold chuckled and he hustled out the door. 

Harold won again.  We had played this game before and I was yet to score a single point.  Harold was the world champion of one-upmanship.  He would ask questions he knew you couldn’t answer without looking, and he wouldn’t let you look.  I was a fool to keep playing. 

Now I am in the legislature playing the same game; diagnosing without looking.  Just like Harold’s fat mare HB2, the $7.76 billion dollar biennium spending bill, is laying dead by the water tank. (I’m thinking HB2 nosed the oat bin open and died of a grain overload…$7.76 billion dollars in spending????)  

Against the Governor’s (and Harold’s) wishes, the House Republicans have necropsied and clarified HB2 by dividing it into 8 separate bills as was customary prior to 1977.  This gave us a very good look at spending.  Unfortunately it also created an epidemic of hysterical grandstanding by the House tax-and-spenders.  For 2 ½ days we have heard symbolic stories of uneducated blind kids without health insurance being knocked out of their wheelchairs so Exxon can have a tax break.  (It bothers you at first…but after two days you get used to it.) 

This week’s activities have proven two things: 

        1)      HB2 is bloated government spending and must be divided and clarified.

        2)      Taxpayers are enslaved to pay taxes for programs to aid people who don’t pay taxes.  This is wrong.  Taxpayers must come first.